The Lies We Believe: “Porn & Masturbation are Normal”
The Lie of Self-Satisfaction: How Porn and Masturbation Steal True Intimacy
I was ten years old the first time I saw porn. It was accidental—or at least it felt that way at the time. A few clicks of curiosity turned into something much darker. What started as a moment quickly became a pattern. Over the years, I justified it the way most of us do: It’s not hurting anyone. It’s normal. It’s private.
I didn’t realize then, but I was slowly being taken captive—not just by images or urges—but by lies. Lies I believed for years. Lies that shaped how I saw sex, women, myself, and even God.
The Lie
Porn and masturbation come wrapped in deceptive packaging. The world labels them as harmless, natural outlets—something everyone does, something safe and private. The lies sound like this:
“It’s better than sleeping around.”
“At least I’m not involving another person.”
“It helps me manage stress.”
“It’s just a physical release; it doesn't affect my soul.”
What I didn’t realize, and what many of us miss, is that every time we buy into these lies, we settle for counterfeit intimacy. We exchange real connection for a quick, selfish fix. We feed lust, not love.
The Truth
The truth couldn’t be further from what the lie tells us. God designed sex to be a beautiful, sacred union—a reflection of covenant, selflessness, and vulnerability. It’s not meant to be about consumption or isolation, but about connection, commitment, and love.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 says it plainly:
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you...? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Porn teaches us to take, not give. Masturbation teaches us to focus inward, not outward. Both center around self-satisfaction, not self-sacrifice.
What’s worse is that science backs up what Scripture already makes clear—porn and masturbation physically rewire your brain. You form chemical pathways that associate pleasure with pixels and isolation, not real relationships. Over time, those grooves deepen. The body, mind, and spirit become conditioned to prefer the false over the real.
The Consequences
For years, I told myself I was in control. But I wasn’t. My mind was clouded. My relationships suffered. Spiritually, I felt distant from God—like there was a wall I couldn’t tear down. I couldn’t figure out why.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom in my personal life that I realized the weight of these lies. Porn hadn’t stayed private. Masturbation hadn’t stayed harmless. It stole my ability to connect authentically. It numbed me. It filled me with shame. It made me passive, selfish, and secretive.
The consequence wasn’t just guilt—it was disconnection. Disconnection from God, from others, and even from the man I wanted to become.
The Way Out
Freedom didn’t come overnight. It came through daily surrender.
1. Confession & Repentance:
I had to stop hiding. Bring the sin to light. Confess it to God, but also to trusted men around me. It felt like death—but it was the start of life.
2. Accountability:
I couldn't fight alone. I needed brothers to check in, to call me higher, to remind me who I am when I forgot.
3. Fasting & Prayer:
My flesh wanted control. Starving it through fasting—both from food and from anything that fed lust—began to weaken its grip. Prayer became my lifeline.
4. Redirecting Desires:
Porn thrives on passivity. So I started redirecting that energy into purposeful, meaningful things: serving others, building real friendships, pursuing personal discipline. Desire isn’t bad—it just needs to be rightly aimed.
5. Identity in Christ:
This was the key. I had to stop identifying myself by my struggle and start identifying myself as a son of God. Romans 6:6 says: "We know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin."
I’m not a slave. I’m not stuck. And neither are you.
Closing Challenge:
If you’ve believed the lie that porn and masturbation are harmless, I want to challenge you—how’s it working for you? Are you thriving in intimacy with God? Are you leading in love and confidence?
You don’t have to stay chained to self-satisfaction. There’s something better. There’s freedom. There’s real connection. But it starts by rejecting the lie, embracing the truth, and walking in the light.
