The Lies We Believe: “I Have to Fix Myself Before God Will Accept Me”
The Lie
“I need to clean up my act before I come to God.”
This lie is subtle and deeply ingrained. It whispers that God is too holy to love us in our mess. It convinces us that grace is earned through behavior, and that acceptance comes after improvement. It’s the belief that we must be worthy before approaching God — that we must be clean, presentable, and holy enough to enter His presence.
But here’s the truth: That’s not the gospel. That’s religion without redemption.
The Truth
You don’t fix yourself to come to God. You come to God and He does the fixing.
Romans 5:8 says,
“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Not after we were cleaned up. Not once we proved our worth. But while we were still sinners. That’s the moment He stepped in. That’s grace. That’s the heart of our Father.
The lie tells us to get our act together first, but Jesus says:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
There is no pre-qualification. No performance test. He calls the burdened, the broken, the weary, and the messed-up. That includes you, right now, as you are.
The Consequences of Believing the Lie
When we believe we must fix ourselves before coming to God:
We delay intimacy with Him, hiding in shame rather than running to grace.
We rely on our own strength to heal, which always leads to failure and frustration.
We begin to believe God is more of a judge than a Father.
We wear masks, faking spiritual health while silently drowning.
We miss the daily beauty of sanctification — not instant perfection, but a relationship of transformation.
Trying to fix yourself apart from Christ is like trying to breathe without air. It’s impossible. He is the source of life, not the reward for having figured it out.
The Way Out
Come As You Are
There’s a reason the prodigal son is one of Jesus’ most famous parables. The son didn’t clean himself up before returning home — he simply came back. And the Father didn’t wait with a cold stare; He ran to him.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20)
That’s God’s heart for you. Not disgust. Not distance. Not disappointment. Delight.
Trust God’s Work, Not Yours
Philippians 1:6 says,
“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”
You didn’t start this. He did. And He’s not finished. You don’t need to be the fixer — you need to be the follower. Trust the One who knows how to rebuild what sin broke.
Stop Hiding, Start Abiding
John 15:4 tells us:
“Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself… neither can you, unless you abide in me.”
You will not bear fruit — change, growth, freedom — on your own. It’s through abiding, not striving, that you’re transformed. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is presence — to be with Him.
Final Thoughts
The gospel isn’t that we fix ourselves to be loved. It’s that we are loved, so God fixes us. Grace doesn’t wait for improvement — it meets us at our worst and loves us toward wholeness.
Jesus isn’t scared of your sin, your mess, or your shame. He bore it all on the cross. The question isn’t whether you’re fixable — it’s whether you’ll come.
Don’t wait to be whole. Come broken. And let grace do what only it can.
