Don’t Numb It—Name It: Processing Pain with Christ
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
John 11:35 – “Jesus wept.”
The Lie: "Real men don’t feel."
From a young age, many of us were taught to suppress pain, to brush off disappointment, to man up, shut it down, and move on. We were told emotions are weakness. That tears are for the weak. That pain is something to either avoid or numb—never something to name, confront, or feel.
But when you look at the life of Jesus—the most complete and perfect man to ever walk the earth—you don’t see a man who numbed pain. You see a man who felt deeply and brought His pain to the Father.
He didn’t numb it.
He named it.
And He processed it with the Father.
The Truth: Pain is not the enemy—numbing it is.
Pain itself is not sin. Avoiding it or trying to silence it with distraction, addiction, or denial is where we go wrong.
When Jesus arrived at the tomb of Lazarus, He didn’t fake a smile or offer clichés. He didn’t say, “Well, everything happens for a reason,” or “It’s all part of God’s plan.” He wept. He felt the weight of loss and sorrow. And in that moment, He gave us permission to feel too.
God doesn't despise your pain. He draws near to it.
The Consequences of Numbing:
When we numb pain instead of naming it:
We delay healing. Unnamed pain becomes unprocessed pain, and unprocessed pain becomes a breeding ground for bitterness, dysfunction, and disconnection.
We damage relationships. Our inability to process emotions robs those around us of connection, trust, and intimacy.
We create idols. When pain is numbed through porn, food, alcohol, work, or entertainment, we turn temporary coping mechanisms into lifelong dependencies.
We live beneath our calling. You cannot become a steadfast son while hiding from what hurts.
The Way Out: Name it with Christ.
1. Acknowledge the pain.
Stop pretending you’re not hurting. God already knows. He doesn’t need your strength—He desires your honesty.
Psalm 62:8 - “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”
2. Name the wound.
What happened? What are you really feeling? Betrayal? Grief? Shame? Rejection? Abandonment? Bring it into the light. Give the wound a name so God can bring His healing presence to it.
You can't cast a burden on the Lord if you pretend you’re not carrying one.
3. Let Christ carry it with you.
Jesus isn’t distant from pain. He lived it. He carried it. He conquered it. And He wants to walk with you through yours.
Isaiah 53:4 - “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows…”
4. Invite others into the process.
The enemy thrives in silence and secrecy. Don’t isolate. Bring your pain into brotherhood, counseling, and community. Healing multiplies when it’s shared.
James 5:16 - “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”
Masculine Reflection:
Real men don’t fake being fine.
Real men feel deeply, kneel before God, and rise up with strength not their own.
So when the pain comes—and it will—don’t reach for the bottle, the screen, the plate, or the silence.
Reach for Christ.
Don’t numb it.
Name it.
And let Him transform it.
Challenge This Week:
Journal Prompt: What pain have I been numbing instead of naming?
Action Step: Confess one hidden pain to God out loud. Then tell a trusted brother or mentor.
Scripture Memorization: Psalm 34:18
Want to be a Steadfast Son?
Start by being honest with your wounds.
Because the world doesn’t need more numbed-out men.
It needs healed warriors who walk with Jesus—scars and all.
